Whose Responsibility Is It?
Yuyang Liu on Unsplash
There are many directions I could have gone with this inquiry. However, the question was the outgrowth of conversations I’ve had around leading teams. Some leaders felt as though they were responsible for the happiness of their team, which I believed was a fallacy. Yes, we do want a happy and high-functioning team but how much of that burden is on you the leader versus the individual team member. Nurturing an environment of psychological safety where team members can speak their minds, feel heard and encouraged by focusing on their strengths versus their failings is critical. Yet, we as individuals must take responsibility for ourselves to get what we want and be willing to ask for it rather than expecting that our leaders/managers will do the thinking for us.
Here are a three steps to take ownership of your happiness at work.
1. Find Meaning and Purpose: Not everyone finds meaning or purpose in their work although it may come from other areas of their lives. However, purpose is increasingly becoming the key to navigating the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) world we live in. Being able to articulate your purpose and finding the courage to live it—may be the most important developmental area you can undertake as a leader or team member. It's how you do your job and the why—the strengths and passions you bring to the table no matter where you are.
Although you may express your purpose in different ways in different contexts, it's what is uniquely you. Often it can be helpful to write a statement that captures the essence of your purpose. For example, it could be "to help others live more 'meaning-full' lives." or "to be the thorn in people's side that keeps them moving!" or “to be constantly learning in order to grow and make a difference at work and in life”. Ask yourself, what really makes you come alive and what are your innate strengths then apply these discoveries to your work environment. It will require time for self-reflection but well worth the effort towards achieving happiness.
2. Think Positively: There is a lot of research discussing the importance of being positive and its correlation to happiness. Shirzad Chamine’s recent book, Positive Intelligence, discusses the need to practice mental fitness by managing our tendencies to go to the negative. Positive intelligence is the ability to use your mind in a positive way to achieve your goals and overcome challenges. It is measured by the percentage of time you are in a positive mental state versus a negative one. The higher your positive intelligence, the happier and more successful you are likely to be at work.
These emotions of doubt, self-worth, fear, frustration… are called saboteurs (aka the inner critic.) They are a part of all of us and can be debilitating if you allow them to hijack you. What Shirzad teaches is to acknowledge them and then consider how you might view this situation as a gift or an opportunity. Then what would be the most compassionate advice you could give to a friend and apply it to yourself. Let’s say you didn’t get that promotion you wanted (I’m a failure). How can you switch to something more positive? Perhaps there are other examples of success you’ve had in your career. Remember how positive you felt. (I’m a rock star.) What can I learn from this setback? Are there skills that I need that will allow me to move forward?
And let’s not forget gratitude as an aspect of positivity and a critical factor in happiness. Gratitude is the feeling of appreciation for what you have and what others have done for you. It can boost your happiness and well-being by shifting your focus from what is lacking to what is abundant. Express gratitude regularly by writing down what you are grateful for or thanking someone who has helped you.
3. Reevaluate your perspective: Sometimes it’s worth viewing your situation from a fresh perspective. Identifying and trying on a new perspective(s) gives you the opportunity to see your particular challenge from different angles that can offer new insights that you hadn’t considered before. If you take on another perspective how might you behave differently and what might you do differently. Will that improve the way you feel and make you happier in your role. This approach can alleviate many of the worries you might be experiencing. Additionally, it’s also important to ask yourself, “what’s the cost of holding onto my former perspective?” You may quickly realize that the cost is just too great to maintain that perspective and adjust accordingly.
Happiness is often a matter of making small adjustments. If you want to create a happier workplace, start with yourself and then your team. Together you will need to navigate through the challenges and nurture a culture of personal balance and team engagement. You will achieve this by practicing positive interactions and thoughts but it is just as important to focus on quieting the negative ones as well. Do not wait for external things to make you happy, and for others to take charge.
Take ownership of your happiness.