Getting Unstuck and Moving Foward
I was rewatching a TED talk by Adam Grant about languishing and recalled the way it resonated with me during the pandemic. However, this sensation of malaise continues today among many people and some of my clients included. There’s a feeling of stagnation of being stuck where you’re not making progress in your work or life. It’s like one of those tethered buoys that goes up and down with the tide but never moves forward.
I asked myself how to identify when you’re stuck and then what to do about it. There are many different shades of stuck with some more debilitating than others. So first, I started with a set of questions:
What are you feeling regarding your work/life? Boredom, emotionally flat, disconnected, lost hope, fear, overwhelmed, etc…
What are you afraid of?
What old ways don’t seem to be working?
What do you really want?
What values are you not honoring?
What’s stopping you/standing in your way from moving forward and reaching your goals?
What is your inner critic telling you?
Answering these questions is the first step to getting unstuck. Spending adequate time self-reflecting on your responses is necessary to know where to begin. While everyone’s situation is unique here are some suggestions on how to move forward.
Understand your values. What really matters to you? Knowing your values will help guide you and inform what is getting in your way.
Values serve as a guiding post pointing out what it means to be true to yourself. Honoring our values makes our lives more fulfilling and purposeful. I’ve found that some people aren’t able to articulate there values so there are many lists of values you can Google to get you thinking. It’s important to identify the top 5 or 6 and write out what they mean to you. Note that some of these will change over time so it is important to go back every couple of years as your life/work situation changes.
Calm your inner critic. What is it saying? Who is speaking? We all have inner critics that never go away. It’s a part of who you are but you don’t have to listen.
There are many names for the inner critic for example, gremlins, saboteurs, the monkey on your back, etc. Sometimes it can be helpful to give it a name. I’ve simply used the “judge” since that’s what it generally does. It says, “You aren’t good enough”, “I’m too old”, “I’m slow”, “you’ll fail”, etc. I think you get the idea. Most of the time it is a negative voice that stops you from moving forward. Be curious since your mindset will impact what you hear but that is another topic. One exercise I’ve found helpful has been to visualize that inner critic and draw it. Who is speaking? What is it saying? Once you can see it and give it a name that critic is easier to tame. Using humor can also be useful by telling it, “Come back when you have something new to say.”
Identify your goal(s). What’s a new perspective you could take on? Writing down your goals brings them to life. Make sure they are realistic yet aspirational. Establish a time frame for achieving it. Break it down into smaller bits so the goal is not too daunting.
There are many ways to establish your goals. These can be about any aspect of your life; career, financial, interpersonal relationships, leadership, family, etc. What’s most important is that they be as specific as possible. It’s hard to get into action when our goals are too vague. Most of us have heard of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound) goals and that is certainly an effective approach. It is important that these goals matter to you personally and aren’t ones that others want you to achieve (although they can be specific work objectives.) Not good at setting goals, then try visualizing where you’d like to be a year, three years, or five years from now. Write it out from all aspects of your life then work backwards. What would you need to accomplish in order to get you there. Then break in down in the same way you would with your SMART goals.
Get into Action. What one action could you take right now to move towards it? Always have a bias towards action. Generate ideas on how to accomplish the goal. Prototype what’s possible and try them out.
“If nothing changes, nothing changes.” When we keep doing things the same way we have done in the past, we should expect the same results. Getting into action means just that. You must set yourself in motion and take the steps you’ve outlined. Yes, it takes courage to get yourself unstuck but there are ways to mitigate the risks involved. I’m a huge fan of the work done by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans around Designing Your Life. There are many possible paths to achieving your goals and generating as many ideas as possible then testing them out is one way of getting there. Remember to break up your tasks into smaller bits so they seem more attainable.
I hope that this has given you enough to get started on getting unstuck and moving forward in your life. Please don’t hesitate having a complimentary call if you’re interested in discussing further. To schedule an appointment click here Schedule A Complimentary Call